I’ve been single on Valentine’s Day for most of my adult life, so I’ve grown rather used to it. I don’t do the whole “I hate Valentine’s Day” thing just because I don’t have a Valentine to wear red lacy lingerie for. I still wear red, buy treats for friends, and indulge in whatever chocolate comes my way–significant other or no significant other.
This past Valentine’s Day, however, turned out to be rather interesting.
I’ve been texting with an ex-boyfriend lately. My “first love,” to be exact. After he broke my heart 9 years ago, we didn’t exactly keep in touch. But recently, we started playing Words with Friends via Facebook…which led to text messages…which led to one awkward phone call….and no, we’re not getting back together. A lot can change in 9 years, including my taste in men. Anyway, that’s not the point.
On Valentine’s Day, he made the comment that he and his friend think Valentine’s Day is “overdone,” that people shouldn’t have to prove their love to their significant others just because it’s Valentine’s Day. Basically, he and his friend were complaining that they had to buy flowers and chocolates and be romantic.
A little irritated that these men were complaining about having to–heaven forbid!–put forth a tiny bit of effort on Valentine’s Day, I queried another male friend of mine. Since I consider this male friend to be the smartest man I know, I figured he’d differ in his opinion of Valentine’s Day. But no. He, too, is “not of fan of Valentine and his/her little day.” He felt that, since he buys flowers and does other romantic things throughout the year, he shouldn’t be told by society that he has to be romantic on this specific day. (I was quick to point out that many men don’t do romance during the rest of the year so their poor wives and girlfriends have nothing but Valentine’s Day to look forward to.)
So, by the middle of the day, I was rather disheartened by these men. Is chivalry really so dead that men are complaining about buying chocolate and roses on Valentine’s Day?! Why bother finding someone to love when that person is going to complain about buying you roses every February 14th? I might as well throw in the towel and plant my own rose bush.
But as I played with the diamond heart necklace another ex-boyfriend gave me for Valentine’s Day years ago and which I wear every Valentine’s Day, I realized that chivalry isn’t dead–it’s just hard to find.
Chase–an ex-boyfriend that was three years younger than me yet treated me better than any other boyfriend. My dad–who always bought roses and chocolate for my mom and me on Valentine’s Day… including this year. David–my friend Jess’s husband, who actually made her a card this Valentine’s Day. Brandon–my friend Jamie’s boyfriend, who swept Jamie off her feet last week….. All these men put forth effort on Valentine’s Day and never once complained about it. And because of them, I’ll keep looking for love and will hopefully have my own Valentine one of these years.
