Free Ride

This morning, I found myself in the bathroom putting on some sloppy clothes in preparation for a Sunday spent doing nothing. Unfortunately, while getting dressed, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and thus decided that my lazy Sunday should start with a trip to the gym. So, to the gym I went.

On my way back from the gym, I passed a very attractive guy (at least 6 foot, muscular…you get the picture). And there I was with no makeup, sweaty, wearing smelly sneakers and a wrinkled old t-shirt.

But what did Mr. Hottie do? Said “Hey” to me in a deep, do-me-now voice.

What did I do? Once I realized that he was, in fact, talking to me, I squeaked out a “Hii-eee.” (I’m out of shape and thus, was out of breath).

This has happened to me quite frequently–attractive men talk to me at the gym, while I’m looking my worst. So, after today’s incident, I decided that I needed to buy cuter workout clothes….

And that’s when it dawned on me. That wrinkled old t-shirt I usually wear to the gym is an old Harley-Davidson promotional t-shirt that states in bold, red and blue letters across the chest: “Ride Free Guarantee.”

(Feel free to laugh. I laughed so hard when I realized this that I gave myself a cramp.)

So now, I’m definitely buying new workout clothes. Although, it did cross my mind to continue to wear my sexually suggestive t-shirt in hopes of it leading to actually giving one of my hot gym-mates a free ride. But, who am I kidding? From this day forward, I will forever be self-conscious in the t-shirt.

I’m Making Progress

Not so long ago, I would freeze up and look away if a guy so much as looked in my direction. But I’m apparently learning a few things from my “research” into the dating world.

The other day, I actually got off my perpetually expanding rear end and went to the gym. Ok, I confess… I was really doing laundry. But the laundry room of my apartment complex is right next to the gym, so I figured I’d kill two birds with one stone.

Anyway, so there I am at the gym, with no makeup on, mismatched gym clothes, and a huge zit on my chin. As I headed to the treadmill, a very good-looking guy walked past me. For a second, I was going to look the other way and feign interest in the maintenance crew cleaning the windows. But I didn’t. I forced myself to look at him, to make eye contact.

And what did he do? He smiled. And I smiled back.

It was a much needed boost to my self-confidence. Such a boost that I got on one of the treadmills near him. So, as he ran…and ran…and ran, I walked…and walked…and walked until my leg muscle cramped and my ankle started to swell… all the while praying he would talk to me (at least take his shirt off so I could sneak a peek at the goods).

Unfortunately, I left the gym without anything more than that smile. But it was worth the injuries (my ankle is still sore). Maybe next time I’ll actually be brave enough to say “hi”.